Hemingway once wrote in A Moveable Feast, that all he expected of himself on any given day, was one true and perfect sentence. This is, in my opinion, one of his finest books, and one of the finest examples of descriptive language there is. The man made a habit of crafting amazing prose; deep, rich textures and created visceral experience with very few words.
Two things: always remember that less is more, even in descriptive prose. Do you write as you think? Do you write as you speak, with your own unique vernacular? Are you striving to paint the perfect descriptive word-picture, to allow your reader to form a tactile, moving imagery in their minds-eye and see what you are seeing when you envision your story? Put them there with you, so they see through your eyes.
Writing, editing and revision is a very intuitive process, and sometimes writing in flow is where its at. For the purpose of pushing your growing edge, learn how you relate to language; ask yourself, what is my style? How do I develop my artistry with language? What sets my writing apart from all others?
One exercise I find helpful when I’m in a tight spot, is to think of the essence of the story I’m writing, then think of the perfect person in my life who would appreciate the story, and then write as though I’m telling the story exclusively for this person’s benefit. And I want them to live it with me. I want them to see the fine background details that form the texture of life. This epigraph from Virginia Woolf captures it perfectly:
“If life has a base that it stands upon… then my life, without a doubt, stands upon this memory. It is of lying half asleep, half awake, in bed in the nunnery of St. Ives. It is of hearing waves… breaking, one, two, one, two, behind a yellow blind. It is of hearing the blind draw its little acorn across the floor as the wind blew the blind out. It is of lying and hearing… and feeling, it is almost impossible that I should be here…
” Virginia Woolf, from, “A Sketch of the Past”
Here are a few tips to help you trim away the excess wordage and craft a finely tuned sentence that will help to bring your readers along with you as your story unfolds. These general rules stand for fiction and creative non-fiction writing.
- Firstly, do not second guess the first draft while you’re writing it. Wait to edit and revise until after your first draft is complete. One of the key objectives of the first draft, is to let your creative imagination flow and take you where it wants. There is wisdom in your subconscious that loves to come out and play. When you edit or over-think your initial draft, you shackle your creative imagination and stifle the flow of complex symbolism, abstract lineal thought, linked ideas and other important processes that the subconscious is in charge of, and which combine to form the warp and weft of your story, the texture of the world and the lives you are creating.
- If you come to a road block, or find yourself over-thinking, pull out pen and a blank page and spitball it – words, sketches, doodles, phrases… Invariably, you’ll hit upon a word, that, the second you’ve written it down, you’ll get that surge of creative adrenaline – the golden thread that leads you back to your story.
- Pick any sentence from your own work; one that instinct intimates you could do better, and dance around it for a while – like Muhammad Ali danced around Cleveland Williams in the infamous 1966 match. Take it apart bit by bit and then put it back together until it says exactly what you intend it to say. When you’re done, the words should be a perfect representation of the picture you wish to convey. When you scrutinize your sentences do the following:
- Analyze to determine the core idea in each sentence.
- Boil it down the bare minimum – using the simplest possible descriptive and narrative words, terms and phrases.
- Revise for style. If you’re not sure what your style is, ask a few of the readers in your reader and critique stable to help you define just what is it about your writing that makes it exclusively yours. If you don’t have a stable of supporters, start looking for likely candidates. And don’t be shy to include your mother on this list, her unflinching support and glowing words of unfailing praise, regardless of how good or bad your story is, will be like soup for the soul. And some days you’ll need it. Thanks Mom.
So, what does revising for style mean? To suss it out, let’s look at a sentence taken from a story that was submitted to me in my capacity as editor of the print version of Gonzo Magazine. Try reading the sentence aloud, to really get a sense of what works and what doesn’t.
“Multi-million dollar resorts have often been constructed around the primary or basic idea that a getaway, whether for business or pleasure, should result in health and well-being in the form of relaxation and rejuvenation.”
My first response was an intuitive one: there is something not quite right about the cadence and flow of words and ideas here. I noted there were a lot of fairly complex, multi-syllabic words strung together, creating a rocky road for the reader. I also noted that said words were further incriminated by being strung together in a run-on sentence, with several competing subjects. My overall impression: the message here was lost in the complex approach the author opted for. Too many big words and competing ideas. In the revision process, boil it down to its most basic and it should reveal itself, how it will best be told.
There was a happy ending here. The writer and I easily found a crisp solution.
Here’s another one:
“Boasting a steam room, lie-down pedicures and sumptuous robes, Naramata Inn and Spa hits the mark every time.”
At first blush, this sentence feels as though it sits flat on the page. “Boasting a steam room”, is very “first-draft”, is road-worn and tired. You’re job is to dig deep and find unique and novel, though not over-worked, ways of treating your subject. The world of Web and print are a literal sea of people with something to say. You need to say it best. Always the best version of yourself.
When it comes to your readers, and taking a note from Virginia Woolf, write for them, not at them. The goal is to make them forget they are reading and put them directly into the story.
Writing is a very intuitive process; sometimes writing in flow is where it’s at – but for the purpose of pushing your growing edge, learn how you relate to language; ask yourself, what is my style? How do I relate to language? What sets my writing apart from all others?
For the purpose of flushing out your muse, write like every sentence has the potential to be the heart and soul of your story. Make it come alive and take your readers there with you: allow them to see, feel, touch, and smell the subtle detail in the world of your story.