All to often, when others are talking to us – expressing a concern, problem, or a worry – we are too busy trying to guess and interpret what we “think” they intend to mean. We are applying our own interpretation, based on our own biases, experience and understanding. As a result, we are not truly hearing what is being said and, chances are, will react to the information based on a falsely interpreted premise. In order to ensure our personal biases and filters do not affect the quality of communication we have with others, we must suspend our frame of reference. When we suspend our own frame of reference and strive to listen openly to the true nature of what is being said to us, we are doing our part to ensure conditions exist to reach some kind of understanding.
Awareness is the best prevention. “hot spots” in a conversation are topics – usually with a history – that hit our emotional buttons and can easily sabotage true understanding. Our goal here – even in the face of those “hot-spot” topics – is to continue to develop and use effective listening, reflective listening, and use our questioning skills to analyze, interpret, and assess situations on both a professional and inter-personal level. When we engage and strive to hear what is being communicated in an unbiased, non-judgmental way, often we will begin to see the problem in a new way, through someone else’s eyes.
(An excerpt from SYT – Speak Your Truth, Effective Interpersonal Communication & Critical Thinking Skills)