There is logic that appeals to emotion; and there is logic that appeals to wisdom. In our collective culture – here in North America – through not knowing any better, we have learned, through lack of a functional example, to respond to our circumstances by running our stream of logic through an emotion filter before our conclusion reaches our mouth, or triggers our hands and feet. We react instinctively to our situation rather than decide to take action that is decisively informed by a well thought conclusion.
These past five years, I’ve invested myself in finding the root and stem of the emotions that affect my daily life. Through the rewards of consistent meditation over time – some of it structured with a purpose or goal, some of it to reach a condition of what the Buddhists call one-mind, or zero-point consciousness, is irrefutable. This is the first order of business in many forms of spiritual discipline. Once I finally got past my own self, and my habitual thinking that I could find a faster, better way (the plague of the Western Mind, Tulku Karzang Rinpoche reminds me often), I settled in to a systematic, patient approach.
We are taught – most often by example – that Anger demands an immediate answer of us; that Fear demands an immediate response. In some cases this may be true, but even then, having taken time to decide on personal policy before hand can help immensely over time.
A Cure for Oblivion, Dean Unger
The answers come when we are ready. But there is work involved. How do we find a balance between our emotional reactions, our instinctive emotional intelligence, and external information we are presented with?
Strong emotions demand immediate attention. We are taught – most often by example – that Anger demands an immediate answer of us; that Fear demands an immediate response. In some cases this may be true, but even then, having taken time to decide on personal policy before hand can help immensely over time. When it comes to house and home – our safe haven. It seems logical – rational even – to want peace at home. The truth of it is, because of our lack of investment in personal development where emotions are concerned, we often wind up stuck in situations where we are at lager heads with those around us. Everyone is holding fast to their position and unwilling to budge, insisting that all had reached maximum saturation.
Author, James Low, says it’s rather like being stranded at sea and dying of thirst. You react instinctively by reaching for the quickest solution – the ocean itself: you are surrounded by water. But the momentary relief that comes in drinking sea-water is short-lived, the high salt content is too much for you; the ocean becomes your poison. The same is true of as much of love as anger, when these emotions are unbridled and over-driven.
What is wisdom? What is emotion? We are largely ruled by reactive and habitual emotional responses, until we are able to intentionally shift the way our brains receive information – how the structures we have built over time receive and interpret words, ideas, demands, conflict, requests and observations. This dynamic, and how our emotions work, though they feel entrenched and often beyond our control, are in fact fully within our control. It is within our natural born ability to learn to manage the ebb and flow of emotional response and whether or not our over-driven emotions rule the outcomes that arise in our lives. It is a choice, as difficult and frustrating as that is to hear. It requires patience, calm self-reflection, and a willingness to learn new ways of interacting with other people and with the world at large.
An excerpt from a manuscript currently in production, A Cure for Oblivion.
